Hey, get your mind out of the gutter -- we're talking about to its . The cryptic 9/9/09 invites went out to media outlets on Monday, unleashing a flurry of fresh speculation about what might be in store.
The truth, of course, is that no one really knows what's on tap for Apple's hotly anticipated event -- at least, no one who's going to share their knowledge with regular schmoes like you and me. But that doesn't stop everyone and his mother from speculating until their tongues turn blue.
Rather than throw more unsubstantiated-yet-oddly-confident-sounding predictions into the pool, I thought I'd put together a quick crowdsourced guide to the Apple 9/9/09 event. All the theories come from blogs, news sites, and Apple-related forums. Some were stated earnestly, while others were a bit more tentative or even tongue-in-cheek. Still, put together, this info's about as official as it gets.
Apple 9/9/09: Steve Jobs and iPods
Apple will on September 9 in San Francisco. (That much is actually true. Nothing else, though, necessarily is.) At the event, Steve Jobs himself , unless he . He might also appear .
The event will , with Apple adding video camera functionality to the iPod Touch and still camera functionality to the iPod Nano. The software will also get some new features, including integrated social networking. That'll most likely involve Facebook, unless it won't. Either way, investors (unless ).
The iPod classic will of its own, but this'll be its last hurrah before it's phased out. Then again, it may be .
Oh, and the new iPods will .
Apple 9/9/09: The Apple Tablet
That Apple tablet everyone at the September event; rather, it'll be announced separately . Unless it is announced at the September event, which is . There's a good chance it'll , too.
There might also be announced -- an iPod Touch with a bigger screen designed to tease us until the real tablet is uncloaked.
Apple 9/9/09: The Beatles
The remastered Beatles catalog will on iTunes; the remastered Beatles catalog will on iTunes. The surviving Beatles will ; Hootie and the Blowfish will .
Apple 9/9/09: Everything Else
Apple will introduce a with Apple will for MMS availability on AT&T. Apple will announce it's soccer team, and -- last but not least -- Apple will bring a out on-stage.
Here's hoping, if nothing else, that last one proves true.
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