It's end-of-year crunch time, and this order system's database is full. "We have to purge it and shrink it, like, yesterday," says IT pilot fish, "or our system is going to run like a snail until we do. Problem is, we find out our backups have been failing. The DBA doesn't have space for the backup and is having a technical issue backing up to a mount point. After everyone is apprised of the situation, the technical VP sends the following e-mail: 'What's the downside of purging without a good database backup?' "
FYI
IT department copier won't work for this software tester pilot fish -- it won't even turn on -- so fish reports the problem to the tech admin, who says she'll call the copier shop. It might be a power problem, fish suggests, so shouldn't you have that checked first? Not long after, an officewide e-mail circulates from tech admin: "Just an FYI, if you experienced problems printing to the IT copier after lunch, don't call the help desk. I kinda unplugged the hub that is under my desk to accommodate the new speakers for my PC, LOL. Sorry if this caused you all any inconvenience."
Syncing feeling
VP's smart phone needs a software upgrade, so tech pilot fish starts by synchronizing the smart phone with the VP's PC. But the sync fails. Fish checks the log and learns that the last sync was months ago. Didn't I tell you that you need to sync the phone regularly to back up your data? says fish. VP: "I sync the phone every day. It just doesn't work, that's all." "OK," sighs fish, "in that case, you need to successfully sync the phone regularly."
Maybe one with a straight face?
Pilot fish gets a work request in the form of a text message on his pager: Bart, can you speed up my buttons? "When I contacted the user by phone, I told her I really didn't think I should be touching her buttons," fish reports. "She claimed it could be quite a learning experience. I sent another tech."
That's why
This pilot fish watches as a new server is installed upstairs at the warehouse where he works. "All wiring had to be installed through the ceiling 25 feet up," says fish. "Our IT tech, who is brilliant with this, asked if I could do the wiring. I told him I don't have the skills for that. 'No problem,' he said, and walked me through it." Once the job is done and the server is working fine, fish is curious: Why pick me for this? he asks. IT tech: "I have a fear of heights."
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