I knew what that meant: Time to hire more consultants, which he did. Sadly, the consultants he brought in didn't even know what Postfix was. So they charged us 20 grand for a nice diagram of e-mail flow and recommended they be given more time to study the problem. Igor thought that was great and gave them the green light. As a result, these bozos are currently burning through the company's money at an impressive clip.

Sooner or later someone will catch on, and Igor and the CIO will be fired. I might even end up going down with them. But what can I do?

When I hear someone say, "I don't care, just fix it," my universal translator converts that into, "I don't know what the problem is, and I don't have the ability to comprehend it anyway; so don't bother trying to explain it. I have money, I have power, I'm the boss."

Although the phrase makes the speaker sound decisive and managerial, it's really just a sham: It means the person saying it has lost touch with the technology that he or she is being paid to implement. In my book, that's grounds for dismissal right there.