"The trick is to balance the proposals to the feel of the conference," Smith says. "When you're rejected for a conference, it's not about you most of the time (unless you're blacklisted). Mostly, it's about your fit with the rest of the program."

Smith has been turned down himself, and can relate to the feelings that inspires. "When it's RSA that rejects me, I get all heartbroken about it and sob nightly into my pillow," he says with more than a little jest.

Benjamin Tomhave, senior security analyst and business development manager at Gemini Security Solutions, used to get heartbroken over rejections, but his attitude has changed with experience.

"I used to take it very personally when talks weren't accepted. I've now moved to the point of accepting that there are a limited number of slots for presenters," he says. "I also try to be far more analytical about rejections.... What could I do (have done) to make my talk more appealing?"

He says there are two kinds of rejections: the "your talk is not accepted" rejection and the "nobody attended your talk" rejection.