Better than sex

Sysadmin pilot fish sends out a notice that one server will be down for maintenance over the weekend. "For two days I got a lot of receipts showing that my e-mail was deleted before being read," fish reports. "So I sent out the message again. Subject line: 'Found a wallet full of money in the parking lot!!!!' First line of my e-mail: 'Now that I have your attention...' This time, everyone read the message."

Managing up

Pilot fish has installed new antivirus software everywhere except on two PCs: one at the company president's home and one at his vacation house. Prez has no trouble following fish's instructions for the PC at home, but a month later, fish gets a call from the vacation house. "I've tried and tried, and I can't find the files to install it," prez says. Let's go one step at a time, says fish. First, make sure the CD is in the CD drive. Pause. "Yeah, that would probably work," says prez. "I'll call back if I need anything else."

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