"I talk to someone up there and find out who took away the access. I contact the guy and explain to him that I need access so I can fix this problem before the server crashes."

It's against our policy to grant the access you had, and I won't do it, security guy tells fish.

Fish points out that he can't fix the problem without access. Security guy says fish just needs to delete some files. Fish asks how he can delete files without access.

"He starts reading off folder names and asks, 'How about if I just delete this one, it's very big,'" grumbles fish. "I tell him I have no idea, as it's a vendor package and I'm not familiar enough with any of the folders to give the OK to delete it.

"He finally gives me very limited access to a few shared folders he picked. I feel like he's asking me to put on a blindfold and play 'file pinata' and whack off a few files.